Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Art Crawl Summer 2014

St Cloud MN Art Crawl 2014 Holey Socks Art

Alrighty then.  So last week was the St Cloud Art Crawl as you may remember from previous freak outs *wink*.  Overall, I think it's safe to say it went well enough.  Things started out pretty slow, but by my second glass of wine (oops) it picked up.  Saw a ton of familiar faces and had the chance to chat with a few of you. Yea! I think that's the best part is getting to see everyone and get feedback in person. Otherwise, I sit in my tiny apartment creating away like a Keebler elf & staring at a computer screen waiting for a "like" or a <3 or something!!!

St Cloud MN Art Crawl 2014 Holey Socks Art

St Cloud MN Art Crawl 2014 Holey Socks Art Craft Show Display, Art Fair

St Cloud MN Art Crawl 2014 Holey Socks Art Craft Show Display, Art Fair

I heard lots of great things about the new stuff *blush*- I'm just amazed you all noticed! And to think I questioned if you were all paying attention.  You, no, no not you... you over there. Yep, you.  Sales were okay, but I think I walked away with a chunk of custom orders instead- jewelry and embroidery.  
I love making stuff for someone in particular.  It's kind of intimate- don't be weird about it- it is! I just hate the pricing though! Ugh! The embroidery is the hardest. I don't know if any of you out there embroider or cross stitch or anything, but it is a HUGE time suck! Even some of the simpler test hoops can take much longer than you think.  And when you figure out the math of 6+ hours of work for $25-35 well, it's a little depressing to think about what your "worth".  I know that probably means I should raise my prices, but I really believe that art should be affordable- for pretty much everyone! And it really isn't an issue when I'm working on whatever piece that can get done whenever, but it's harder when it's a particular piece (with the added stress of 'will he/she like it?!') that needs to be done by ___.  I mean, does that cost more? And sometimes I just don't know how long it's going to take me.  I have been painting rooms inside of homes for like 8 years or something and I STILL expect to be done in like 2 hours. I am a chronic under-estimator of time. 

So while I try to get a handle on all of the icky pricing crap, I am working hard on enjoying the piece and not letting it stress me.  I've been channeling Stuart Smalley (you know, SNL- anyone?) and trying to remember "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me" and just saying NO! to all of the mean girls shit in my head telling me otherwise. Are all artists full of doubts? Oh no, they're not. I've met some of them and they are pompous assholes. I feel like the girl all alone at the lunch table wondering if I can still make friends with the scoliosis brace and the metal mouth. So when Stuart Smalley isn't doing it I try to channel Barney Stinson and remember "I'm awesome and this piece is going to be legon- wait for it- dary!"  It's working actually, but fear not I'm a long way from pompous. I'm currently ENJOYING my FOUR custom pieces and not freaking out a bit. No, really. Stop laughing. Jerk.

So besides trying to keep my cool during negotiations, I did manage to get some pictures of more of the laid back fun that took place.  I had fun showing alongside Dan Mondloch with his always amazing watercolors and general great attitude and the always funny Mike Stodolka who showed his amazing motorcycle art- or rather art ON motorcycles! His paint jobs are amazing! And if this picture of him and my hubby don't inspire you to check him out or go buy a motorcycle I don't know what will. 

Brian Wohlman The 2Bits Man and Mike Stodolka\

P.S.  This was before all the beer!

Saturday, August 16, 2014


I'm so excited to finally reveal the custom embroidered piece I did last month for Allison to give to her hubby for their second anniversary. 

It was really fun to do and weirdly enough I feel like I actually know them having stared at their faces so much. 

What do you think? Would your hubby be able to appreciate something like this?

Friday, August 15, 2014

Anxiety Part Duex

I've heard a lot in the last few days from people who are also struggling with GAD.  Fear not! I'm working on BSC (bat shit crazy) shirts right now and will be shipping them out early next week.   Just kidding (humor is my defense mechanism)! It was really nice to hear from all of you and to know who I'm phoning next when things get really heavy. It's always reassuring to know someone "gets" you.

I keep thinking about this topic often, anxiety that is, probably because it's a big part of my day to day, but also because I'm finally starting to work to break it down and understand it better.  I think one of the hardest things for me has been to admit it and talk about it with my husband.  It seems insane as he's my best friend and I tell him everything.  First, I think I was in denial and felt like maybe it was situational or temporary and when ___ then it would go away.  Also, I think admitting it has felt like giving away some of my power. I think I fear it being used against me in the heat of the moment- my anxiety (aka ME) is making this fight worse or started the fight or whatever.  I feel like it gives him permission to get out of being an ass because he can simply say "oh, you're just overreacting. It must be your anxiety" (aka somethings wrong with you).  Etc etc etc.

Of course, this is also my anxiety telling me this.  I think of it like having a bitchy little Daria living in my head (MTV anyone?) feeding me full of crap some days. He doesn't use it against me.  In fact, I think he's learning to give me more space sometimes to settle down a bit before we talk and recognize when I just need a calm cool head to give me a hug and help me calm down (co-regulate if you want the fancy shrink term).

I think some of things that have helped the most is sleep and exercise. I've noticed that when I'm more active I'm less anxious.  Must be those damn endorphins.  Unfortunately, I've fallen off the bandwagon.  I like to think it's because my fancy Tampax Sport tampons discontinued their motivational sayings, but really I think it's just because I'm lazy.  I found an excuse when I had my tattoo done on my back and used it to to fall out of my routine.  I would really like to get back into yoga.  Yoga was amazing for my body but also my mind.  It forced me to be slow and be mindful.  It taught me to appreciate my body for it's strength and flexibility and the amazing poses it could do and focus less on how high my breasts sat and where my pants should sit in relation to this belly pooch I still carry.

I know that medication has been a big help to many that I talked to, though it can be really hard to find the "right" one that doesn't make you feel all looped out or cause other crappy side effects.  I think I'm going to try checking out the book "Chemistry of Joy". It was recommended to me as an alternative to medications (by a professional- don't freak out, I'm not taking advice from witch doctors yet).  Anyone else out there tried it?  What else do you do to keep your cool and regulate?

Thank you again to all that reached out.  It means the world.